Imagine him happy

we all know it'll never be canon

74 notes

spiritthatdenies asked: Oh, maybe you can update us on Tazer the terrible shipper! Wha are his otps right now? Has he discovered ao3 yet and is ignoring all the Kazer to read through his rarepairing tag? Has he funded a hockey shipper anonymous club with Mark Lazerus yet? Or just anything!



BAD-SHIPPER-JONATHAN-TOEWS OH MAN. I’m not planning on writing this, but who knows, because it seems so damn fun whenever I think about it. :D

he doesn’t even realize that fanfiction is a thing, like, legitimately he just thinks of himself as a sort of Cupid character (though the idea of him going through rarepair memes warms the cockles of my heart). 

Right now he’s really looking for love for Brad Richards. Not romantic love, because his fiancée seems really nice, but like, a good solid bromance. It can be hard when you move to a new place and don’t have any close guy friends who you can cuddle with, you know? He thinks Antti and Brad could really hit it off. They have a lot in common! They’re two of the only Hawks who grew up in coastal places, and they both really love kale (a fact which Jon discovered when he grew too much in his indoor garden). Antti needs an older guy to help him learn the ropes, and Brad needs someone who’s enthusiastic and new to the team but not that new so that he can commiserate and be informed.

He keeps inviting them out for drinks and then not showing up. They’re confused. (Brad’s fiancé totally hits if off with Antti, though. They get on like a house on fire.)

Laz only ships the really popular stuff, so he just shakes his head at Jonny’s efforts. Amateur, he thinks to himself, and goes to plug away at his canon divergence Tazer-got-drafted-to-the-Caps 50k kazer epic.

i actually can totally picture tazer mentally taking note of which guys on the team seem to be too shy/closed-off/distant and trying to pair them off with compatible buddies.

shawzy and saader being road roomies to begin with? TAZER’S DOING. he’s proud of how well it worked out until they gang up together to fuck up his toilet…and that’s the point where saader gets reassigned to leddy.

(sometimes he opens up that connecting door between his and kaner’s rooms to whine about how people’s tastes are so unpredictable and how was he supposed to know that bollig’s an xbox guy while pirri staunchly supports playstation and they’d spend their arranged playdate arguing the relative rankings of next-gen consoles - he thought they’d be able to bond over having the same first name, c’mon, that’s a great icebreaker. maybe he should throw saader at pirri next.)

(kaner: it’s three fucking am, turn off the light and get the hell out of my room.)

and when nobody seems up to the task he steps in himself with gifts of veggies and bone-cracking hugs, but that’s really just a temporary stopgap because tazer can’t have a bestie, he needs to keep himself free for the next new guy who requires a buddy. captain’s duty; WE MUST ALL MAKE SACRIFICES etc. etc. which may or may not be an easy(?) segue into 1988.

Filed under but LAZ as the number one 1988 fan girl fucking canon more pls

19 notes

Anonymous asked: If you don't mind me asking, why does the 2007 WJC SemiFInal stand out so much for you? Is it because of the Toews VS Kane? What aspects of that then?


I totally don’t mind. It’s the fact that they were so enormously impactful on each other before they even knew they were going to be teammates. So it’s not the Toews v Kane aspect, so much as it is their reactions to each other. And I like to think that Jonny prepared himself to play Kaner, WATCH ALL THE TAPE, PRACTICE ALL THE THINGS, because he had to know that a game like that, SOMEWHERE in the tournament would be coming.

Can you imagine? The Hawks told Kaner a month before the draft that if they still had the pick, it would be him. I just imagine him finding that out, and knowing that that would mean Jonny would be on the team. I imagine Jonny seeing who the draft prospects were that year, and knowing that Chicago had the first pick, and knowing that…it could be Kaner. It fucking could be.

Just, the possibilities out of this narrative are endless. That said, I want them to be on the same team forever-and-ever, amen.

276 notes

SEEING INTO THE FUTURE AU: Jonathan Toews has a gift, but he doesn’t know it until he shakes hands with fellow rookie, Patrick Kane. The moment their hands touch, Jonathan sees things that aren’t there. Eventually, he realizes those things were glimpses of his future, and that they always include Patrick.

SEEING INTO THE FUTURE AU: Jonathan Toews has a gift, but he doesn’t know it until he shakes hands with fellow rookie, Patrick Kane. The moment their hands touch, Jonathan sees things that aren’t there. Eventually, he realizes those things were glimpses of his future, and that they always include Patrick.

(Source: hossprey, via the4freedoms)

Filed under shit this is a fucking awesome graphic

581 notes

kane and toews, if you two had to switch bodies what would you do?
i would give up all hope and just let myself go
--Jonathan Toews, actually

88 notes


"We’re both very competitive, competitive with each other. You wanna be around him all the time and see what he’s doing to get better. It’s probably the same with him."

Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews discuss the high points in the their career with the Chicago Blackhawks and look to their future on the team.

Apparently Jonny was kept up at night with the fear that his team would win the freaking Stanley Cup, but Patrick Kane might be awarded the Conn Smythe (which he finds annoying because he won that trophy three years ago? How does that even make sense, Tazer?)

Don’t worry though, Jonny’s obvious insanity is fairly well-balanced by the fact that Kaner looks like he’s about to cry from disappointment as he receives his Olympic silver medal. 


Filed under FUCKING FINALLY I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS ALL NIGHT! Okay so here is the official story behind Jonny's dream! Chicago Blackhawks Patrick Kane

286 notes

Kaner’s dance off entry for #BHC2014

If Kaner makes it through his entire NHL career without getting on, I formally request that this be entered under his name. 

(Source: peetas)

Filed under Signed: A Concerned Fan Because the ony way this kid knows how to fight Is by giving his boyfriend a lap dance

2,986 notes



sterek sport AUs: Ice hockey

Derek Hale, a center in Philadelphia Flyers, and Stiles Stilinski, a defenceman in Pittsburgh Penguins, have to overcome the deep-rooted quarrel between their teams as well as their personal feud, caused by Derek checking Stiles into the boards during a game. The incident cost Stiles a torn ligament in his knee and being out for the rest of the season. Now when they’ve both been chosen to represent USA at the Olympics they need to bury the hatchet in order to lead team USA to the Olympic Gold.

I would write the crap out of this.

(via undercaffeinated-reader)

Filed under my god I totally forgot the existed reblogging from my own archives because my new obsession with TW warrants it